It’s been a while…

Wow, it has been longer than I thought since my last blog. I have spent the past few weeks feeling pretty normal and trying to get back into normal life without fixating on the fact that I have a problem. In doing that, I have found it hard to sit down and write about how I feel as it brings it all back to me and makes me feel crazy. 

So, like I say, I have been feeling myself again I’m not sure that’s good as apparently myself is a little crazy but hey the doctors are assessing me, I suppose I just have to trust them. I’m two and a half stone heavier than when I started my tablets so they are looking to change them as the thought of putting on more weight is awful. 

Well, today I have a group therapy session. Apparently I have to attend three of these in order to get a full assessment – great! I’m not sure what is going to be like and just the thought of attending them has reminded me that I’m not quite right – a reminder I could do without! I’m a little apprehensive about it and quite honestly I don’t think it’s going to help. I have gone my whole adult life living as me so I am used to it – I know I need a project, I know I love and feel more than most. I know I get it rated with stressful sitatuions. These things I don’t feel like I need to deal with. I know how to deal with them – I have been dealing with them forever. The only help I want is to ensure that I don’t have another ‘episode’ like the last – or like any. I don’t ever want that feeling again. I don’t want to ruin my life and others – ever again. Unfortunately it’s not that easy. They can’t just stop that without me having to attend these things. So, I shall go and I shall see what comes of it. Until then…