Bipolar

I see how people stop their tablets…

I used to wonder why people would not take their tablets. If they know that they will make them better, why would they not take them? I think I get it a little now. 

Yesterday I was having a bad day – everything went wrong to be quite frank. At about 10am I was in a complete state, blaming myself for everything and feeling completely useless. I realised at some point during the morning that I hadn’t taken my tablet. I wondered if I would feel better if I took it. I didn’t take it for about another hour. Partly because I didn’t want to believe I had to take this stupid tablet in order to feel better and partly because I didn’t want to feel better. I felt crap, I deserved to feel crap, my life is a mess and it’s all my fault. That’s how I felt. I felt like I didn’t deserve to just be able to take a tablet to make myself feel better. I had put myself in this situation so I should take responsibility and be miserable. I shouldn’t be able to take a tablet to numb the pain. I took the tablet. 

This morning I had quite the opposite feeling. Same sort of time of day, I was feeling quite ok. I didn’t want to take my tablet because I felt ok – I felt, that was the main thing. I find the tablets numb me sometimes and I liked feeling something a little more. I took the tablet. 

I took the tablet both days but I get why people wouldn’t and I realise how important it is to make sure that someone is checking that I take them because if my brain put it to me much more I may not have taken the tablets… scary head! 

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6 thoughts on “I see how people stop their tablets…

  1. It is hard to accept taking your medicine and get used to it. But it is important to take the medicine consistently to know if it will work for you. Good luck and best wishes with taking your medications. I pray you find one or some that will work the best for you. Hugs Sue

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You are welcome dear. I know how hard it is at first to get used to the medicine that will work best for you.
        It might take longer than you want but please be patient you will​ find the perfect medicine for you that will work for you. I pray​ it will work out perfectly for you very quickly. Peace and hugs for you. Sue. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. No it is not silly at all. Just pay attention to how you feel and tell the pdocs. Sometimes you have to take the meds for a while to give them a chance to work and see how your body will react to them.nowey will worked​you for… After you give the meds a chance to work… No fun but it will get better. I promise…

        Liked by 1 person

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