And today really is another day! I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I am happy but considering how down I was yesterday, I am pretty good! I have managed to keep myself pretty busy with the help from my family and have managed to stay pretty stress free which apparently is quite important for me at the moment – who would have known! I realise now that I suffer from panic attacks – something that I thought left me a long time ago, but hey ho, bring it on. And that’s precisely the point – I can take it today. I couldn’t yesterday. 

One thing I have realised is that doctors give you your meds and let you know that they will be in touch with regards to therapy and stuff – then send you on your way to go and be a bit more normal because you’ve now got the drugs to make you that way. The thing is, I’m not sure they realise that, I don’t know normal like normal people know normal, so being normal is actually very scary – it really is the unknown. Everything that I think is me being a bit silly or typical of me is actually apparently not normal, it’s bipolar! That part is weird. 

I read a few things that people have said about having bipolar last night. One that that caught my eye, likened mania to being on drugs and the comedown being the same. The weird thing is, if I had done everything I have done during my manic phase whilst being on drugs, I could blame them for it. It would be much easier. I have my brain to blame, the same brain I am meant to trust to make every judgement for me in life. Some people have to take drugs to get a high, I now realise that I have to take drugs (legal meds) to stop me having a high. Weird thought…


2 thoughts on “Thoughts 

  1. “I don’t know normal like normal people know normal” Well said! We can pretend to be normal because we observe other people, as though an actor would do, but we truly don’t have an experience of “normalcy.” On the other hand, what is “normal,” really?
    Hang in there; it’s a journey.
    If you don’t mind, I’d like to add your website to my list of bipolar blog sites for folks who need support.

    Liked by 1 person

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